Naughty Neighbors

Junk, noise, parking, screaming kids, fences, property lines, and anything involving a tree or pets are all neighborly topics that can elicit loads of spirited conversations between you and the Jones'. Property values and peace of mind can be the biggest investments we'll ever make and when a (relative) stranger threatens either one, it often makes us want to circle the wagons and defend the homestead.

You've probably had your share of disruptive and sloppy neighbors who you'd just as soon send to the moon than have to live next door to. But, without a direct flight to outer space it may feel that you're left with either ignoring them or living with conflict. Rest assured, you have more than those two options at your disposal.

First,custom bobbleheads, attack the problem, not the person. If his music is shaking the wine glasses from the cabinet, the problem is the music is too loud; not that the neighbor is an imbecile only a mother could love. When you bring up the subject stick to the issue and refrain from making personal comments.

Keep the matter between the two of you. Trying to build an army of other neighbors as a way to show force or to get someone else to speak on your behalf may result in your neighbor feeling attacked. It doesn't matter if one or a hundred neighbors are sick of his junky yard, speak for you and only you. You can always include others (like Code enforcers) if repeated attempts don't resolve the problem. Oh,customize bobblehead,Repairing A Backless Swivel Bar Stool, and if your kids get along with his, don't take the adult issues out on them by no longer allowing play dates.

Say it, don't display it. A neighbor once told me that someone was repeatedly moving his trash cans into the middle of his driveway two days after the trash was picked up. He was clueless that the act was a way for the anonymous neighbor to display his frustration with an untidy street. I knew who was behind the act so I felt comfortable suggesting that it may be due to his trash bins being left at the curb for days. He responded,Companies Providing Market Research Needs To Be Loud And Clear, "No, I don't think that's it." Oh, my. It would have been so much more effective had the trash-can-moving neighbor simply talked to the untidy neighbor.

Remain cordial. If you're frustrated with Joe down the street because your conversation didn't go as planned, continue to wave,customized bobbleheads, smile, and say hello when you see him at the grocery store. This will keep the door open for future conversations.

Know that your annoyance may be the least of his problems. The neighbor's work truck dripping oil in front of the community mailbox may be an important issue for you but don't be surprised when it's not the biggest problem he's facing. If he tells you he's dealing with health issues or his marriage is falling apart, etc., figure out a way to resolve the smaller issue without too much trouble on his part. Showing a little compassion now can go a long way toward building equity for future issues.

I could go on and on with ideas on how to deal with neighbors but I'm going to stop myself here and move to a few actions you can take so you're not the naughty neighbor others are trying to figure out how to contend with,customized bobbleheads. Make sure you:

Keep your home, yard,Top Tips on Choosing Lace Prom Dresses,personalized bobblehead, and sidewalk free of debris and unfinished projects. Sometimes we get so used to looking at something we can't see it with fresh eyes. Your neighbors have fresh eyes,custom bobblehead, so keep things neat and clean.

Minimize noise,,. Keep your pets happy and your music down low. Ask around to make sure no one's bothered by the early morning lawn mowing or evening ball games with the kids in the cul-de-sac.

Follow the rules. The neighborhood covenants are for everyone, not just for your neighbors. It's difficult to ask someone to follow rule #3 when you're ignoring rule #4. And, don't forget that the local laws regarding fireworks, parking,personalized bobble heads, pets, outdoor fires,custom bobbleheads, and maintenance apply to you as well.

And,., finally, forgive the occasional exception to the rule. Give each other fair warning about the annual Christmas party or a garage sale that may cause extra traffic and parking issues for the weekend. They say good fences make good neighbors,personalized bobbleheads, but I think flexible ones are better.

Vivian Scott is a Professional Certified Mediator with a private practice in the Seattle area. Author of "Conflict Resolution At Work For Dummies" (Wiley Publishing 2009), which is a practical guide for resolving problems at work, she believes the book is a must-have for anyone interested in restoring peace,personalized bobblehead, training others to get along better, preventing conflicts from ever starting,Black Vs. White The Double Standard Amongst Celebrities, and boosting morale.